Today is Oluwatoyin Salu’s birthday. She would have been 20. On social media, images of her are inescapable. Photos of her gracefully posing in a black leotard with glowing skin while her eyes are closed, or donning ginger-cinnamon hair and gold winged eye shadow, dominate my feed. Beautiful images that…

My mother wasn’t unlike many other mothers when it came to trying to spare her daughter’s the harm they encountered when they were young. To assist in helping me to avoid abusive men like my father, she imparted many examples of red flags; warning signs to observe in the behavior…